Anastasia, recent PhD, last few months tech lead at a startup
What motivated you to join the session?
At one time, a year and a half or two years ago, the goals and values were worked out. But since then, the workplace has changed - partly the profile and the position. So when Eugenia put out a call for a group session on understanding one's values, I decided to participate. Whatever we are going to do about values, I think it is a good idea - because in ordinary life these topics are not usually brought up very much, despite their importance (for me, at least) and influence on my own actions. And just by the date of the session an unexpected event came up, before which working out my values would be very useful: in a few days I was to be interviewed at a press conference by student journalists. As someone who is familiar with impostor syndrome, I decided that the session would be a great opportunity to find a foothold in myself in the form of values and thus bolster a counterbalance to the impostor.
Could you share how the session went?
At the session, we first each defined for ourselves a goal for the session and how it would be useful tomorrow. I decided that for me at the session it would be 3, well at most 5 key qualities of myself, which would be my pillars, answers to the question "who am I now". And just this will be some renewal of the values that I found out about myself two years earlier. The expected benefit of the session in the next few days was obvious: the found supports would give me an inner sense of wholeness, which in turn would give me confidence when presenting myself to journalists. It would be nice to have such a sense of wholeness in life, too.
Then, in the main part of the class, Eugenia's first task was to recall a moment of happiness from her life, and then to consider its various aspects: to name it, what was the brightest thing about it, what and who surrounded it, sounds, smells. I just in my time a couple of years ago from such an exercise and slowly determined my values, but then to remember the story was much more time: there was a whole week to think over one story for the class, and then another week for the next, and so several times. Now I didn't want to take any of the old stories that I had previously sorted out. I decided to look for new, recent ones, and I was confused: I couldn't recall enough vivid ones, but I found 5 small ones. I decided that in the course of further tasks I would decide which one to take.
The next task was to imagine that the source of happiness that was found in the previous task is now present in my life all the time. What then? What new feelings will emerge? Then it was suggested to think without which key element happiness will not take place. And finally, how much of that element is expressed in your life right now.
How much did these tasks and questions resonate with you?
Having previous experience of working with helping professionals and using coaching tools on myself, I developed the habit of listening to myself (a very good habit, I recommend it!) and knew that it was more important that the result was "about me", responded to me, than that it perfectly corresponded to the "technical assignment". That's why I also adapted the tasks of this session, and instead of one story I went with five small ones. I highlighted the key value in each story that led to the "little happiness"; then I ranked these values by importance and assessed the degree of their presence in my daily life.
In case you're wondering what those stories and values were:
A cousin, whom I admire and hold up as an example, said he was proud to have such a wonderful sister - me.
Values: recognition and feedback;
I gave myself a vacation to Sri Lanka for New Year's Eve.
Values: I am definitely worthy, and I reward myself;
recorded a guitar song with a rarely visiting friend.
Values: shared action with a loved one;
I passed the interview easily and with pleasure, after which I was hired. Values: my own expertise, necessity and applicability;
my thesis defense was finally accepted and I was awarded PhD status. Values: knowing that I am capable of completing such big things.
Maybe these findings cannot be called values in the strict sense of the word and can be "dug up further", but for a very quick internal revision, this is what I needed.
By the final session, were you able to reach your goal?
The final part of the session was, of course, devoted to reflection for the session. Eugenia asked supporting questions such as "What was new for you today? New in yourself" and similar. And just my 5 highlighted values from 5 stories became perfect solutions to my own goal of the session - to find 5 key qualities of myself at the moment. The puzzle came together and the goal was achieved! Looking ahead a few days - the press conference was also easy and relaxed.
What was new and valuable for you during the whole session?
Regarding the session as a whole, it was new to me that you can do a check-up of your values so quickly. Not in a few weeks, but in a couple of hours! Even less, because during the group session the participants spent much of the time sharing what they were doing well in their assignments, and it was fascinating to listen. Eugenia was very skillful in leading the discussion, which meant following the stories of all 7 participants, and supporting everyone in their journey of self exploration. Thank you Eugenia for this useful evening, with far-reaching positive impact from it!